Yes girls this will be one of those rambling from the heart, glimpse of the diary type of posts(this is a repost).
I love the last line on the sign, "Don't even think about it".
But do you?
Do you think about climbing over the rail to challenge yourself to do something amazing?
Something thrilling, exhilarating?
Something that fills your heart to the brim and then
over flows and you can't hold it with a bucket?
I do, but.....
It still terrifies me.
At 46 I'm realizing all those things that held me back for so many years are the same things most of us struggle with but don't reveal. How many opportunities are lost because of our fears? I hate to think of what Ive missed because of the inner voice that kept saying
"be careful" and "what if".
And why is it so hard to reveal those things.
Undoubtedly, more fear.
Fear of not being accepted and being hurt even more. Let's face it life is hard and throws some whopper curve balls BUT, you'd be surprised at what you can over come, even conquer if you trust in yourself and face some of those fears.
This picture represents 2 completely different things to me:
1. Its beautiful, captivating, serene. Gazing at the water has a calming effect. Breathing in the air as I took this picture filled me with peace. Beauty was all around me and I was safe behind the rail.
2. An element of the unknown, invoking a bit of anxious thoughts. Clearly the terrrain is steep, rocks are below in the water and a wrong step could be disastrous. I wanted to hike down below but was unsure of my footing. I was just plain scared!
Do you remember a time in your life when you were fearless?
Have you ever felt invincible? What were the circumstances surrounding those feelings?
For me it was when I was a kid. I could do anything. I climbed on the roof, picked up a snake and swam in the ocean(until I saw Jaws, then it took another 20 years and a scuba tank to get me back in).
Harness that energy and use it to your advantage.
I finally made my way down, it took a while but I made it. And yes, I was terrified.
I wanted to press on and see the cave below that I had heard rumor of and once there I was excited, the climb was worth it.
On the way I crossed over lots of rocks, got a few splinters from some horrible thorn ridden weeds and slid on my butt in places I couldnt stand.
I was worn out and out of breath.
But I made it and that was all that mattered to me.
Stumbling on the rocks, I lost my balance, got a little bruised but somehow was able to climb back up the trail (which wasnt lined with railing mind you). I have to tell you I came to this beautiful place last year, after a terrible heart breaking experience. I went there seeking solitude and healing. I took more than a year to post this I suppose because I was still learning from the experience and needed to reflect.
Time really does give a fresh perspective on life.
I hope you see the allegory within this story.
This is a true story, my story. Maybe similar to your story. Im a fraidy cat, there I said it.
Not any more, not any more.
Despite being bruised, heartbroken and terrified you must continue on the journey.
If you don't you will never know what you are capable of. Your journey WILL inspire others to follow their own path too, its a double blessing. My faith also played a great part in this story. God was with me through the thorns and the rocks and He is with you through whatever you are facing too.
My sweet blogland sisters you are capable of so much more than you know!
I took this picture this morning after passing the Wild Sage for at least the 100th time. It's growing right at the top of my driveway, pushing its beautiful burst of color and tender leaves up through the cactus. Have I mentioned how much I abhor cactus? To me, cactus represents something dark, thorny, painful, even dangerous. Have you ever landed on cactus? My son did and it wasn't pretty. Pliers were needed to pull the barbs out. He was a trooper and as most teenage boys go, even though it was painful he had the "dude did you see that?" reaction! Well let me tell you that would most definitely not be mine.
So I've passed this spot over and over again and I always turn to look at it because the bright purple is so eye catching. I was thinking how beautiful that would look properly planted in my garden and that I really should come rescue this beautiful plant from its choking surroundings of horrible cactus. You know, water it and nurture it. And then it hit me.
Its a picture of L.I.F.E.
This life that you and I are right smack in the middle of. I thought about my own life's journey and how many times all I could see was cactus all around me. There was no beautiful pop of eye catching purple anywhere to be found. And I desperately wanted to see it because quite simply it provided hope, beauty and rest. And I believe to my inner most being we all need that in our lives.
But this crazy thing called life that we are all navigating has a way of taking us places we never dreamed of. Sometimes its to that beautiful place of rest in the gardens of life and sometimes its a place that leaves us thirsting in the desert and feeling all alone.
I certainly don't profess to have any idea why life is that way, I just know that it is and it stinks to be thirsty. All I can say is I try really hard to look for the Wild Sage when I'm stuck amongst the cactus and thorns. Its not an easy task at all but I refuse to be choked out by life's cactus. It helps to write love notes to myself and yes that may sound a bit cheesy but life is just hard so we must have perspective. So if you've never written a love note to yourself, I've written one for you: Dear Beautiful Girl, This life is hard but you are stronger than you know. And at times you may doubt that, but you are like a beautiful Wild Sage that grows even where there is no beauty. Others stop and see you every day and marvel at you. They see your tender beauty amongst life's cactus and they are grateful. Take time for yourself and be good to yourself because you are so worth it!
It wasn't that long ago that I decided it was time to do what makes my heart sing and my soul fly but I didn't act on it right away. Have you ever figured out just what "that thing" is that would really bring you joy but held off for no other reason than being afraid you might do it and then be disappointed? And really when you say it just like that it doesn't make on bit of sense does it?
I suppose it took me a bit longer than some to take the leap from the safety of my comfy nest. After all there was so many other things that needed my attention. You know the routines of laundry, homework, driving my minivan cab, cooking,I already have my own business that has its demands and oops forgot the milk and the list just goes on and on. When is there time to daydream abut something and execute a well thought out plan? But yet, that nagging desire was in the back of my mind.
Let me ask you something, have you ever been lost and drove in a circle passing the sign, the big "this way" sign and missed it until about the umpteenth time you passed it. Yeah I did that. And then because of one little thing a mentor said to me I decided, after sitting on the edge of the nest completely terrified of heights, to take flying lessons and here I am.
If you are dreaming of doing "that thing" that makes your heart sing sweet girl, take flying lessons. You may have trouble with your landing gear but that's ok. You will never be the same. Because the truth is we all have to leave the nest and do what makes our hearts sing. Those precious dreams you have can only be dreamed by you. No one else can do "that thing" the way you can. So what are you waiting for, come fly with me!!!
And it's perfectly ok if when you leap you squeeze your eyes tightly shut!